Social media has come into our lives, and at times it rules our lives. Just think back when you were a teenager—going to the roller skating rink or having your own phone line in your room might have been highlights.
Today, teenagers have their own iPhones with Instagram, TikTok, Reddit, and Twitter. These platforms allow one to be anyone he or she wants to be. A lot of adults gravitate towards Facebook, while the youth gravitate towards Instagram.
As you’re reading this, I know a question popped in your minds: Why is she writing about social media? Along with all the joyous occasions that one shares with the world, we also share our sorrow, grief, and pain. I share all moments of my life in order to help others on this roller coaster ride of emotions.
Instagram and other sites attract the younger generation because of the information that’s put out there. One can find out who was murdered, why, when, and who is responsible. At times this attracts more controversy and adds additional fuel to the fire, which can lead to retaliation. The end result is shots fired and another family inducted into this club no one wants to be a part of.
Unfortunately, we see this played out each day in different sections of the city.
What can we do, one may ask? There is a lot we can do as parents. Although my children are grown, I follow them on social media and will correct them if I feel they are out of line. One thing I’ve learned as a parent is that your job is never done. In case you’re wondering, my mother follows me as well and will check me if I post something that she doesn’t agree with.
As a village, if you see your younger relative or someone’s child posting questionable things, call their parents and ask them to talk to their child. Parents, please don’t be offended when your relative or neighbor comes to you with this information. We all must look after each other’s children to save them from themselves.
As a parent of a murdered child, I have witnessed some of the backlash a grieving family has to endure with some of the comments and messages we receive. While most of the comments are kind, we have also faced negative comments such as, “Haha, that’s what he gets, he should have watched his mouth, that’s why he got parked.”
When a person takes the time to send you such a derogatory statement, it says a lot about their character. Receiving such a message can lead to anxiety attacks, depression, or revenge.
Families of victims tend to gravitate towards popular sites such as No Gun Zone to find answers. When a victim is posted, some people post great tributes. Others are bold and say things that will cause arguments that will lead up to retaliation and more families being added to this club no one wants to be a part of. As my mother always told me, “Kim, shut you mouth! Everything does not need an explanation or rebuttal!” Now I understand what she meant by those words.
For myself, when I see a new posting on sites such as No Gun Zone, I look at the comments and one can sum up for themselves what type of person the deceased was, and what they were into. But that does not define the whole person or give anyone a right to take their life.
Like I’ve said and will say again, if my child did anything wrong, you should have turned him in. Sitting in a jail cell would have been punishment enough because he could have had time to think about what he did, repented, and tried to make peace with himself, the person, and/or the family. No one has the right to take another’s life.
If used correctly, social media it’s very effective. But as you see, when used incorrectly it causes devastation. So, please be mindful of what you post, say, and do on these outlets.
Kimberly Kamara is the author of “Where’s My Daddy,” a children’s book aimed at kids who’ve lost a parent to murder. The book was inspired by her family’s continuing journey of grief after her son, Niam Johnson-Tate, lost his life to gun violence on July 5, 2017. Kimberly has two daughters and lives in Germantown with her husband.
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