Rafael Massa never wanted to stop learning. At 46 years old, he was in school at Brightwood Career Institute to become a nursing assistant. At different stages of his life, he pursued boilermaking, asphalt, general education and now medical studies.
“He was always eager just to learn the next thing,” Lisa Howell, Rafael’s ex-wife, said. “He always taught his daughter, he’d say, ‘Remain teachable in life, keep learning.’ He was always in school learning.”
When Rafael was killed in the Feltonville section on March 5, 2017, he was just a few months away from attaining his certification to kickstart his career in this new direction. He always had aspirations and wanted to be the best person he could possibly be.
Beyond the traditional bounds of education, Rafael was always challenging himself. As a kid growing up in Brooklyn, NY, he began boxing. When Rafael moved to Philadelphia in his early teen years, he continued on his pursuit to become a professional boxer, training at Front Street Gym. That gym, where Lisa’s uncle worked, was a major connector for their relationship and continues to hold many fond memories of Rafael
“We went to see his first fight at Front Street Gym and he got knocked out,” Lisa remembered. “It was like ‘Rocky.’ I was like Adrian and I ran up. He got knocked out his first fight.”
While Lisa and Rafael’s relationship was never perfect, it brought them the most important thing in both of their lives: their daughter Madison.
“We had a little bit of a rough start, then two years later Madison popped up in our world and our life changed forever,” Lisa said. “He was like the proudest man. When we parted, we promised we would always be friends for Madison’s sake.”
On the night of April 13, 1997, Madison was born, quite suddenly, in the bathroom of their first apartment together.
“She was born in the bathroom on a pink rug. I gave three pushes and she came out,” Lisa recalled. “When they put her in his arms, his life changed forever.”
Rafael adored his daughter Madison, now 21 years old, more than anything else in life. He would constantly call and text her, take her out for lunch, buy her new phones and treated her as more of a friend than a daughter.
“I always had a father and daughter connection with him, but it was like that was my homie, that was my best friend,” Madison Massa, Rafael’s daughter, said. “He’d just talk to me like I was one of the guys.”
Madison and Rafael both loved music and would dance and sing together. LL Cool J was always a favorite, who Rafael also happened to share a likeness to (according to Lisa, “everyone used to say he looked like LL Cool J”). He was also obsessed with the Giants football team and enjoyed having flashy things in life, whether it was his BMW Coupe, or the top-of-the-line phone he always had to have.
Rafael had worked hard to get to this comfortable point in his life. Both Rafael and Lisa battled with addiction. He got clean first and stayed clean, while Lisa has had difficulties over the years (she’s now been clean for more than four years).
“He didn’t judge you. He got clean and stayed clean, I struggled for a very long time,” Lisa said. “He never put me down, and he never turned her against me. He was always there.”
At one point in their relationship, when they were both clean but financially unstable, they managed to scrounge together the little money they had to go out to eat as a family.
“We had enough for a sandwich and a drink. Most people wouldn’t go into the store, but we asked, ‘can you cut that in three, please,’ and us three sat and ate,” Lisa said. “We had such a good time. It was enough for us, we made it always work no matter what we had.”
Rafael touched the lives of many, had a big heart and “just had a smile that could brighten your day,” according to his daughter.
“We weren’t together, but at the end of the day, we were family,” Lisa said. “That’s what family is. You don’t have to live together, but you can come together at the end of the day and still be one.”
A few months before his passing, Rafael had a sort of spiritual awakening and “had made peace with god,” despite not being “a big church-going person.”
“If it was a heart attack or a car accident, you could maybe grasp around it,” Lisa said. “He didn’t deserve to die the way he did.”
Date: 2017-03-05
Location: 4800 Gransback St, Philadelphia, PA
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From GoFundMe:
Rafael was a student at Bright Wood Career Institute to become a Nursing assistant and due to graduate in 2 months . Rafael made the deans list and just wanted everything for his daughter. Now his daughter is left with responsibilities that no one should be left with.
