Unfortunately, we’ve had to welcome even more families into this club no one wants to be a part of. To date, there have been 199 murders this year and counting. Many of us have visited No Gun Zone and Unsolved Murders in Philadelphia on Instagram and never thought our loved ones’ pictures would appear on either of these pages.
Some families will direct message these pages and ask the owners to take their loved ones’ photographs down due various reasons — they would like their privacy, they may be in shock, all members of the family may not know, or the family knows what their loved one was into in the streets.
Let’s all face it, no one deserves to be murdered regardless of what he or she has allegedly done. This is why we have a judicial system in place. Many victims and victims’ families have lost hope in the judicial system. This leaves the victim’s family hopeless and wondering why they choose to fight so hard for justice of their loved one rather than retaliating.
I will never tell anyone to take matters in their own hands because it’s wrong and will only make things worse for all parties concerned.
Yes, we call the detectives only to get frustrated after each call; we give the detectives leads and only hear silence. We put our own safety at risk by asking questions about our loved ones so that we can get answers. Why do we have to do this?
As parents, we are in protective mode for each one of our children. We have gone through one of the most unnatural things we could experience in life, which is to have a murdered child. In life we protect our children and we ensure they’re properly groomed when they leave our homes. We have taught them to be respectful and responsible. When they go out in the community, we pray they carry themselves as such to others they come in contact with.
In death, we are our children’s voices. Therefore, we are also feel obligated to them to ensure their voices are heard. We don’t think about any danger, we act on hurt emotions because our child is no longer with us. This is why we fight so hard.
One person asked my mother, “Will Kim ever let Niam go?” Her response was to ask them to put themselves in my shoes. My response would be no! Niam is my child, I birthed him, I raised him, and he is mine. I will never rest until the murderers are caught. I want them off the streets so they cannot hurt another soul and he can get the help he needs. I would never say I hate someone, but I hate the act he has done. This pain is unbearable to the strongest as well as to the weakest.
I’ve seen people lose everything, turning to alcohol or drugs because they couldn’t bear the pain of losing their child.
The aftereffects of murder are hard on families because they try to hide how they feel. They become silent or place blame on one another. Mothers become over protective of their other children. Siblings can’t understand why the grieving mother begins to love them harder. Grandmothers become more involved when the fathers become silent. The children of victims isolate themselves and at times look for love in the wrong places, seeking comfort.
I plead with each one of you to not allow your pain to go in silence. Continue to advocate for your loved one. Draw closer to your family and talk to them about how they feel. Stay in touch with the detectives, give leads, and take your own notes. If your deceased child has children, continue to build a relationship with them. Talk to them about their parent. Share pictures, videos, letters, conversations and memories with others, because it’s all we have.
